Archive for the ‘Clients’ Category

Dumm support

Saturday, December 24th, 2011

Support: We have not received any emails from you.
Client: Hit the send/receive button.

Denial of server

Saturday, December 24th, 2011

Client: my server is down.
Support: that is not possible! what’s the IP?
Client: the IP is X.Y.Z.W
Support: we do not even manage this server!
Client hangs up.
Support: yeah! we did that again!

Send/receive is not for mails

Saturday, December 24th, 2011

Client: I dont get any mails
Support: What error do you get ?
Client: I dont get any errors
Support: Did you press send/receive ?
Client: Send/receive is not related to getting mails

Emails without internet

Saturday, December 24th, 2011

Client: I don’t get any mails

Support: Are you connected to the Internet? Did you dial to your ISP ?

Client: No,my tech. guy told me it is only needed for the Internet but not for the outlook

TMPT – the main process

Saturday, December 24th, 2011

This process is one of the main and the most important ones. It runs almost all the time, consuming about 99% of the resources. It uses the sound card a lot without any filtering. The client usually has to turn the computer off and step 2-3 meters away in order to stop the process.

Handle the clients well

Saturday, December 24th, 2011
  • Always check that the client checked whatever you told him/her to check. In other words, never trust the client.
  • Put them on hold (take a nap) to chill them out.

Trigger (as in guns) keywords

Saturday, December 24th, 2011

Shoot upon request by (future) client. If you are a hosting provider and/or integrator – here is a list of keywords. Be sure to brief your sales team to shoot client upon mentioning one of the below

  • Standard Linux installation
  • PC server
  • Gentoo
  • “We need standard web server”
  • Mysql + ASP on Windows
  • FrontPage extensions on Linux